I'm special....

I have a habit...I've noticed...of title-ing a blog something that will relate to what I intend the blog to be about and then...completely leaving that "something" out of the blog.

ALA- "slightly streepy", in reference to Meryl Streep's tumble in "death becomes her" was to relay to my tumble down the stairs because Mark said thats what I looked like, and then, I never made mention of it in said blog.

Such was the case with "A bottle of White....a WHOLE Bottle..."  

The night prior...we had our photo shoot with Nat. I think I talked about that...I hope.

And it was lovely. Then we had some chow and libation with Nat as well. And I drank my weight in pinot grigio. Odd, as I had  started the night off with my true love, Diet Coke. And planned to remain monogamous. Later I thought, "oh how I would enjoy a glass of white , fireside.." yes...I thought it just like that. And I opened a bottle called, "stella notte" and Stella and I had a one night stand. 3 hours later, I'd missed RUNWAY at Joey's, revealed more about my passion for Marin Mazzie than you should ever tell someone you just met who MAY or MAY NOT be friends with Marin Mazzie, and finished off Stella...that saucy bitch.

so yea, thats why that was the blog title.

In other news...

I like to (well I don't like to) have a nervous breakdown a week or so before opening with every show I do. But this time, I moved things along and had one Thursday night.  Now brace yourself for this...

I am VERY insecure.  VERY.  And I often doubt myself (GASP). But then the show goes on as it always does and I realize I am capable and maybe even a little talented and everyone's happy and we all take a bow like Madonna. However...that usually isn't preceeded by an ankle fracture and tumble down a flight of stairs. So this particular run I've been, in Mark's words, "a ball of nerves" and its true. I feel like Fosca...like I'm missing a layer of skin. I'm afraid to get out of my bed let alone trot down a staircase ,"while belting high c's and preparing souflees". So Thursday night when we arrived to choreograph , "We Open on Thursday"...I mean, "We Open in Venice" and I saw that spiral staircase of death.....I almost vomitted. And after 3 hours of sassing Mark, rolling my eyes, sweating like Shelby in Steel Magnolias and being on the verge of tears,  I lost my shit and Mark held me and we talked and now everything's lovely and I'm gonna dance like SJP in "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"....this role is mine. And I came to play.

Stay Tuned

JAC

"A Bottle a' White..." A WHOLE Bottle

Ok. CLEARLY I suck at updates.  In my defense...I don't like to update from my place of employment...as , clearly if the people I work for really knew the level of my insanity...they wouldn't let me look at their child let alone spend the entire week with her. Just Kidding. I am the best Nanny EVER. But it is true, I no longer update from work...and after KMK rehearsals I like to spend the hour before I go to bed with Rachel Zoe and my roomates and ice-ing down various body parts that have faced torment at the hands of Mark "Jerry Robbins" Lenard.

But today, thanks to the chosen people ( I hope to be one someday) I have time to update and eat eggs while they fast and take the kid to temple.  So SHALOM dear readers.  

Much has taken place since last we spoke and I was recreating scenes from "Death Becomes Her" on the stairs of The Ritz.  I had a rancid case of strep throat and living in our current world where I am uninsured and poor I had to take the "holistic" approach. Which actually I am THRILLED to do, but it would be nice to have the option to seek eastern medicine. Obama 08'.

ANYHOO.  So I depleted WHOLE FOODS and Wegmans of their Coldcalm supply. A drug which I now swear by. It literally knocked strep throat out of me. Astonishing.  SO I fell down stairs, I got strep and during the strep drama I decided I should try every homeopathic cure I can find online and thus we begin the tale of the neti nightmare.

I read somewhere that its not only helpful to gargle with apple cider vinegar but to neti pot with it as well. So I'm at home...an hour before rehearsal. It's a thursday night and I'm feeling like shit.  But I know after rehearsal I have the entire weekend to get myself better, or at least try to.  So I put water on to make tea for rehearsal and when its done I make said tea and I also rationalize (as only I could) that hotter water will kill more germs. PS everytime I now recount this story and say that outloud...I wonder how I could make that assumption.  All I can say is I was SO sick and felt SO awful I would've tried anything if I thought it would heal me. SO hotter water; more germs killed.  So I pour boiling hot water mixed with apple cider vinegar into my neti pot.....hunch over my sink.....and burn the shit out of my brain, my eyes and my senses.  I immediately felt like I was swimming in a sea of HELL. And no matter how hard I blew my nose I couldn't get that HEAT out of my head.  It was a nightmare. And I also begin to realize...oh, I can't SMELL OR TASTE ANYTHING. And I have to be at rehearsal in 15 minutes. SPLENDID. I get there. No makeup. Snot falling. Eyes puffy. Bruce takes me aside to console what he assumes is a breakdown over the whole Marc break up. To which I reply, "No I dont give a SHIT about Marc...I'm sick. and I BURNT my nose!".

Having JUST regained my taste and smell this week , I can now look back and laugh but last week and the week before....I kept thinking all the things I may never experience again. Like can you IMAGINE not being able to know what you smell like. Or taste food??? It was awful. One of my favorite indulgences in perfume...and I couldn't smell. It was so depressing. But it's over now.

NEXT.

So eventually I got over my sickness. My bruises from falling are almost completely gone. I can smell and taste.  And on Tuesday, Nat  our , "guest artist" arrived. And he is divine.  It means a lot to me to be working with someone I've admired for so long....I've never really been in this situation before but I do know that it could've gone a number of different ways. THANKFULLY he is lovely, hilarious, talented and looks great in a pirate boot. Who could ask for ANYTHING MORRRRRRRRRE!

And the great news is...

The new season of The Real Housewives just started.  This "kim" character...is a f*ckin half wit. And I love her.

Stay Tuned...