I was just starting to really getting the hang of driving stick last friday. I basically ran errands all day. And from major highways to small shopping centers , I was doing beautifully. I could listen to music and shift at the same time....life was good.
That was all about to take a drastic turn (for realsies) for the worst.
My final errand was a run to Target for some last minute Charlie Brown things and to try on dresses that were only cut to fit an Olsen Twin. I was on my way home chatting with Brian on the cell. The cell was in my lap and on speaker and I still managed to shift and breath and talk......I was a PRO. As I turned off of Rt 38 onto the exit ramp for the Garden State Shopping Center/Rt70 I looked ahead to see a stop sign. "Shiiiiiiiiiiit" I thought. I'm really no good at the stop signs pre-major highway. Mainly because this puts my car on a slant. And then I'm just completely and totally screwed. You see, there's a "sweet spot" with the clutch and the gas when you are going from a start into 1st gear....and it's not so hard to find it on level ground but on a slant. Not so much. So picture it. Car on slant. Stop. Start. Car begins to roll back into oncoming traffic and as I attempt each time to get it to go.....each time it stalls out. And so now, not only am I compromising lives...even worse than that I am inconveniencing people beyond belief. I start to sweat. I start to cry. And my legs begin to shake uncontrollably. So I am doing everything I can to talk myself off the ledge but by now I am WAY too far gone in my head to get myself back, and even if I wanted to I couldn't get this car to go. My clutch leg is shaking like Shakira's ass. I decide that seeing as I am going to A: have to live here on this ramp. B: Miss my opening night and C: Kill myself , I should just roll the windows down and start screaming. SO thats what I did.
About a minute later, the woman behind me gets out of her car (presumably to kill me) and approaches my window. "I'm SORRY I yell", "Ok calm down....do you think if you could get it to level ground you could get it to go?" she calmly asks, "YES" I sob....."Ok , I'm gonna give you a push"....and so, this ANGEL, THIS GODDESS proceeds to physically push my car forward on the ramp. And I just go , and yell, "Thank you, I'm SO SORRY".......and then I went to Wegman's and had a cookie and a water for lunch.
Now I have to decide if Im ok with avoiding ramps forever or if I will attempt this death defying stunt again. Considering there are ramps en route to the mall and my boyfriends house....I should probably consider another attempt. Does anyone have a xanax?
XOXO
JKB
1 comment:
Hey honey - there was an angel there b/c this has happen to many of us as we were learning to drive a stick shift. She'd probably been through it herself. If it's any consolation - it's very funny to read about and re-live so maybe someday...! Besides it's all worth it for the cool/control factor of driving a stick!! :)
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