So Long , Farewell

Last night I said Farewell to one of my great loves: Carbohydrates.

Yes-in an effort to kick-start some serious summah summah summah time weight loss, I am trying the sacred heart soup diet. At least until I can get my hands on some crystal meth. I kid. But those horse pill things Rachel Zoe was handing out years ago- I'd go for some of that.

But it's 1pm on day one...and I'm not dying or anything but I would just really enjoy some dry toast. A yogurt? Something. But I am determined to follow this shit to the letter. At least for a week because supposedly, by day 3 I can drop up to
7lbs. Now let day 3 come and only 2lbs have been lost and I will find whoever wrote this out and sit on them while I eat a loaf of pepperoni bread and bounce on their stomach.
But today I can only eat the soup and fruit. Tomorrow I can have the soup and Veggies and then Day 3 I'll get to, "reward" myself with a baked potato. I feel like Oliver. The soup's not bad by any means .....but it's not pizza either. I just absolutely refuse to wear a one piece and/or tankini this summer. It's a hot pink bikini or a tarp. Go big (or small in this case) or go home. I looked DELISH last summer. Granted my last relationship was practically giving me chrones and the man I was seeing monitored every bite I took- but I'm thinking I can get back to my former Delish self in a somewhat-sensible way this time. But again- if you or someone you know have the 411 on where I can get horse pills....lemme know! :)

XOXO
JAC